Monthly Blog
Kay Gimmestad, LCSW, SAP, Business Coach
August 2015
Facebook Radically Alters Grief Debriefing Session.
Recently, I was asked to provide grief counseling to a group of employees at a creative agency following the sudden death of an employee. Unlike in years past, when Human Resources and a grief counselor generally communicated the death of an employee, this assignment was radically different. Mark*, a larger than life, fun loving employee had passed away over the weekend. Two hours later, his death was communicated by his family on Facebook. In the virtual world of 20 and 30 something’s, the entire staff affected by Mark’s death knew within a couple of hours.
Given the speed of communication with social media, how should a company modify its grief counseling approach?
By the time I arrived to conduct the grief counseling session, the energy in the room was different because the whole group had already been in communication since the day his family announced his death. It became abundantly clear that a different approach was necessary.
I quickly realized the need to switch gears and to provide information about grief, loss, and self care and to normalize their experience. After I spoke, the group seemed to want to reminisce about Mark and share their favorite stories about who he was. It seemed appropriate at this moment to allow the group their experience and observe rather than facilitate.
After I spoke, I turned it over to the manager and he began to talk, laugh, and cry about Mark. They shared funny stories; there were roars of laughter and outbursts of tears. It seemed to be one extreme or the other--emotions were running high. They also talked about Mark meeting his future wife and becoming a father.
After about an hour, the group seemed to have shared what they needed to share. The manager looked over at me and said, “Do you have anything else for us?” I said without hesitation, “I have never been to a grief counseling session quite like this.” The whole room burst out laughing. One person said that Mark wouldn’t want it any other way.
On that note, the group concluded. The staff had lunch together, socialized in the conference room, and left around 4 pm for dinner together. Funeral arrangements were being planned and the company was in close contact with Mark’s family. The managers asked me about assisting Mark’s widow in the days ahead.
The whole experience reminded me of the importance of flexibility—being able to adapt to different situations, and helping people process grief in a way that feels authentic to them.
*Not his real name
================================================================================
July 2015
When memories of war come to work.
Bob called the hotline and asked to be seen for counseling to manage his personal and work stress. He is a veteran of Iraq and Afghanistan and served 4 tours in combat. Bob describes having days where he has symptoms related to post-traumatic stress disorder. This is a condition that may develop after a person is exposed to one or more traumatic events, such as major stress, sexual assault, terrorism or other threats on a person’s life. The diagnosis is given to a person who exhibits a group of symptoms such as disturbing recurring flashbacks, avoidance or numbing of memories related to the event. On those days, Bob feels a particular challenge dealing with customers who call him upset and yelling about the services they are receiving from the company, which can cause Bob’s symptoms to re emerge. The customer service division is tightly structured and only allows time away from the phone for a one hour lunch break. He had worked in customer service prior to enlisting and wanted to return to this role for the time being, due to its familiarity which would help him ease back to civilian life.
Bob said that he misses the cohesion and unity of being in the military, where he was close to many of the men he served with. He is unable to gain significant support from his family, as they do not understand his combat experiences and they were never that close a family. Many of his friends and even his girlfriend, do not fully understand his war experience and the challenges of returning to civilian life. Isolation is a common experience for Bob.
The employee and I discussed some of the types of calls and other issues that are distressing and came up with a plan of action that he would apply when providing services for certain types of customers. Some of those actions are; setting limits on yelling/cursing, putting the person on hold for a couple of seconds, informing the caller that he needs to consult with a supervisor and lowering the volume on the caller’s voice. He also has resumed going to the gym and obtained a personal trainer as he has gained a lot of weight given the sedentary nature of his job. I obtained some resources for veterans in his area including a therapist on his insurance plan, who specializes in trauma. Employee requested resources both inside and outside the VA hospital system so he feels that he has a range of services to choose from. Bob also took the initiative to meet a couple of veterans at his company to overcome his isolation. They meet each other for lunch once a month to support each other at work and help one another with the daily challenges they face.
The employee was seen for a few follow up sessions, as he was transitioning to ongoing therapy. He continues to struggle with many issues, but feels the specific behaviors we discussed, have helped him more effectively manage his triggers. The referrals and stress management/fitness plan have helped him gain more control in his life and in his work.
================================================================================
June 2015
Mitigation of Risk
A Human Resources professional from a major publishing client called about an employee whose productivity had declined over the past year. The employee had a number of sick days during an eight month period from 2014 to 2015. The HR professional was challenged by staffing issues due to the fact that this employee was only one of three employees left in a department that previously had 8 on staff. The employee’s productivity and absenteeism was negatively impacting the productivity of this department because no other remaining staff members were trained to do her job.
The employee had gone to her primary care physician (PCP) for a physical which was suggested by her manager. The PCP told the employee that she needed to see a counselor immediately and reduce her stress given some previous health issues and family history of heart disease and stroke. The doctor was concerned about the level of stress the employee was experiencing.
Subsequently, the employee was scheduled for an initial counseling consultation with me where we reviewed her work situation. Although the employee did have a large work load, I determined that there were some things that she could do around limit setting and directing off-site consultants to the appropriate person. The employee said that some staff contact her about issues that are not her job as she is “easier to deal with” than some of the other staff members. We created an action plan where I suggested that this employee speak to her manager and get support around redirecting off site consultants. We also addressed boundaries for her scheduled work day and agreed that she should stick with her scheduled work hours and take a 30 minute lunch break. She enjoyed going to the gym and meeting some friends every Friday evening after work, but she had been missing visits to the gym and often late to the Friday social hour. We agreed that the boundaries around her work hours would allow her to resume her after work activities.
While initially these strategies sounded obvious to her, she found that integrating a lunch break, her workouts and the Friday evening social time, made a dramatic difference.
After 5 sessions she successfully decreased stress levels by setting limits, redirecting and restructuring work flow and the department had a 20% gain in sales.
I also consulted with her manager on strategies for decreasing her workload and stress reduction techniques to minimize illness and to eliminate absences.
During my final consultation with the HR manager, he said he was happy with my employee relations counseling and was convinced that this effort mitigated risk of worker’s compensation claim. In addition, he reported her attendance record had improved significantly.
If you have any questions about this case or any other workplace matters, please do not hesitate to email me at [email protected]. Please post your comments below.
================================================================================
April 2015
Assisting Employees after a leadership Transition
A few months ago, I was contacted by a member of the Board of Directors of a not-for-profit organization. They obtained my name from EAP-SAP, an online list of clinicians who provide coaching and counseling services for firms and organizations.They were preparing to remove their executive director due to poor performance and wanted a coach with a clinical background to speak with employees and managers following this action.
The Board of Directors had learned from previous experience that to leave a situation such as this unaddressed had serious ramifications on the organization. A few years ago they had to make a staffing change and did not bring in a coach to provide professional guidance to their employees. They noticed that their employees were distracted, rumors started about job security, voluntary attrition and there was a lack of trust and decreased productivity. They decided to bring a clinician on site to prevent disruption to the work flow and allow their staff to process the change.
Once I arrived, I met with two managers and they briefed me on the situation and how the staff were doing. The staff were surprised and disappointed about the change and wanted to have the opportunity to process this with me. Staff were informed they could meet with me on an individual basis. Several employees availed themselves of the service. They were able to start to process the leadership change and how it impacted them as well as their relationship with the executive director. We also covered coping strategies and how to maintain focus on advancing the mission of the organization. Given the fact that several employees wanted to meet individually, the managers extended my time on site. One of the primary reasons that the intervention was successful, was the support of the senior leadership team. Their commitment and concern in helping the staff process the loss of this leader made all the difference.
The employees expressed some common themes in our meetings, and they agreed that I could share this information with the managers as long as confidentiality was preserved. The managers and I also spoke about how they want to handle staffing and/or leadership changes more effectively in the future, and I stressed that their decision to bring in a coach/clinician was key to having a better outcome then they had had during the previous staffing change that had not gone well. Managers were also informed that I could schedule additional time with them and/or their staff if that was needed.
If you have any questions about this case or any other employee relations matters, please do not hesitate to email me at [email protected]. Please post your comments below.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
March 2015
Treating a couple following a domestic violence incident and order of protection
Bonnie was referred to me through her company’s Human Resource department following a domestic violence incident, which involved the police. Bonnie and her husband, Carl are in their mid 30’s and have been married for 15 years. They have two young children. Bonnie has reported abusive behavior from Carl following the birth of their first child, which has included incidents of pushing, shoving and slapping. Her friends encouraged her to report the most recent incident to the police to get it on record. Bonnie followed this advice, but to her surprise, the police were mandated to speak to Carl, arrest him and take him to jail overnight. Under the law, Bonnie and Carl were allowed to be seen together through their counseling program after they obtained permission from a judge due to the restraining order, which followed police intervention. Carl has individual counseling as part of the court order. During my conjoint sessions, we were able to start to process the most recent incident and address their anger, communication and coping skills.
At the end of the first conjoint session, a contract was drawn up with a specific plan around communication, stress reduction and anger management should Carl become angry again or if a fight was about to occur. Bonnie was aware that she had a role in the process, which was to allow Carl space and time if he needed it before they tried to talk over the problem. The contract gave specific actions to help defuse the anger and avoid any further violence between them. They were able to start to handle their conflicts in a more constructive way by talking without raising their voice, taking a break and going for a walk if either of them were upset and giving each other time to speak without interruption. After we completed our sessions, I contacted an agency that specializes in domestic violence work that was closer to their home and suggested that they continue therapy there for a period of time to continue to monitor use of the contract and receive support.
The contract was reviewed during each session and revisions were made if some aspect of the contract was working or if something was not working. At times, they started to digress from the contract and discuss their list of complaints about each other. They needed structure and support from me to stick with the plan that they both initially agreed to with the knowledge that this was a tool to effectively reduce the conflicts and fighting.
In cases with more severe abuse, a safety plan is put in place for the partner that is being abused. It also includes a safety plan for the children and pets. Some of the issues covered in the safety plan include: where to find safety and shelter, leaving personal items at that safe place, financial resources, where to store money and a bag of belongings in the event that the person has to leave quickly, how to handle safety issues pertaining to the children and where to leave pets.
If you have any questions about this case or any other employee relations matters, please do not hesitate to email me at [email protected]. Please post your comments below.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
February 2015
Article: Clinical Depression leads managing director to suicide attempt
I received a call from John B., a CEO of a small financial services firm following the suicide attempt of a managing director on his staff. He reached out to me because he needed a business coach with a clinical background to counsel and speak to his employees regarding the incident. I specialize in advising and counseling small to mid size firms who find themselves in this type of quandary with nowhere to turn. The managing director reportedly had some problems with depression for the past few years that the firm was aware of, but they were unaware of how serious his issues had become. They certainly were not prepared to deal with the aftermath of the attempt suicide and the emotional impact on the staff.
The suicide attempt occurred at the firm during business hours and John B. was concerned because he/the managing director was discovered after hours by another employee at the firm. The managing director was put on leave, but continued to send threatening text messages to various staff at the firm, which led to increased trauma for the employees. Police were called and they followed up and advised John and the firm. John B., decided to terminate the managing director not only due to the suicide attempt, but also for sending the threatening messages. Subsequently, John B requested that I come into the firm the next business day to develop a strategy and plan for addressing the staff. We decided that I would meet with the entire firm and conduct a critical Incident debriefing (CID).
During the Critical Incident Debriefing, I provided a safe forum for the staff to express their anger and disappointment toward the/this managing director who they had looked up to as a father figure and and mentor. They realized that the partner had had many issues of which they were unaware. I spent time normalizing their reactions, providing education and information on self care, and educating them on what they may experience after such an event. I also coached them on how to move past the event and resume their normal activities in their work and personal lives. A few of the employees were quite engaged in the discussion and asked how I would assist an employee with a mental health and/or substance abuse problem.
Finally, John put me on a retainer for a few weeks to provide additional coaching and counseling for any of his staff who felt the need for additional services.
After the completion of my intervention, John B informed me that his employees were doing well and performing effectively at work. I also learned that the threatening texts messages had ceased. John B indicated that he was very satisfied with the process.
If you any any questions about this case, please do not hesitate to email me at [email protected]. Please post your comments below.
DEFINITION of a CRITICAL INCIDENT DEBRIEFING (CID): is offered to firms and companies within 72 hours of the incident. The service gives individuals and groups the opportunity to talk about their experiences, how it affected them, brainstorm coping mechanisms, identify individuals at risk and discuss services available to them. (THIS Process IS EDUCATIONAL and NOT THERAPEUTIC in nature.) The leader or facilitator listens without judgment or criticism and the service is confidential. Attendance is often mandatory, but participation is not. In other words, individuals do not have to share, but can listen. The purpose of the CID is to support individuals, firms and communities who have experienced a traumatic event with the goal of returning to their normal routine more quickly and to minimize post traumatic stress disorder. The Final Step is to follow up with the firm to ensure that the staff are coping, functioning at work as well as to make sure the business is operating smoothly.
If you have any questions about this case or any other employee relations matters, please do not hesitate to email me at [email protected]. Please post your comments below.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
January 2015
The Perils of Managing High Stakes Employee Relations Issues in A Small Firm
Several months ago, I received a call from Lisa P., a VP Operations Manager at a firm with approximately 40 employees who was in a bind over how to properly counsel an employee, a driver with serious anger issues. Lisa P. was concerned because this employee had an altercation with a person in the community during work time. The employee told Lisa P. that this man was “bothering him” and when the man refused to leave him alone, the employee assaulted him. As a small business with under 100 employees and no Human Resource function, Lisa P. was in a quandary with nowhere to turn for counsel. This is often the case with small firms. Lisa P. was referred to me based on my expertise advising small firms with high stakes employee relations issues.
Lisa P. requested that I assess this problem employee and make recommendations to assist the employee with his “anger management” problems. She said that he could be “rough around the edges” but they had never had a problem with him before. Lisa P. was concerned about being put out of business due to potential litigation. The management team was in conflict about whether or not they should retain this employee based on the potential risk. Following my assessment, I determined that the employee did not have an anger management problem per se, but an addiction to alcohol and that his “anger issues” were symptomatic of his alcohol problem. Three outpatient substance abuse facilities were recommended along with the pros and cons and costs of each one.
I was able to successfully engage the employee and he agreed to follow the recommendations and attend treatment. I was in close contact with the treatment facility throughout his three months in rehab. During this time, the employee and I had weekly phone contact where we reviewed the progress of his treatment. After four weeks of treatment, the employee was able to return to modified assignment and in another two weeks, full assignment.
About a month after the employee completed treatment, I spoke to Lisa P. and she reported the employee was performing well at work and had no further incidents.
The firm ended up retaining me on other substantive issues including/such as; single case insurance agreements, drug testing at the firm and preventing workplace violence.
If you have any questions about this case or any other employee relations matters, please do not hesitate to email me at [email protected]. Please post your comments below.