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Pride, Progress, and the Expanding Definition of Family

6/16/2025

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In June of 2019, I wrote a blog about a major milestone in the ongoing journey toward equality for LGBTQ+ people. In the years since gay marriage became legal in many states, we've seen families of all configurations step more boldly into the light. 

In the 2024 presidential race, we saw a perfect example of this. JD Vance was raised by his grandparents due to his mother’s struggle with addiction, VP Harris married at mid-life and has stepchildren. Governor Tim Walz and his wife used IVF. Further, President Trump has been divorced which was rare for a presidential candidate. VP Harris’s stepchildren said they were happy that she was part of the family, but it took time to embrace their stepmother. 

What has changed, is not only the law but the culture. More singles and couples—regardless of gender or sexual orientation—are now openly exploring how to create families that reflect their values and commitment. Family no longer fits into one mold.

When I moved to New York City several years ago, I was struck by how adoption was viewed in certain professional circles. In my own extended family, adoption was a natural part of our family story. But in social work and psychology spaces, I encountered a level of skepticism and stigma that surprised me. The narrative often pathologized adoption—framing it as a source of dysfunction rather than a different, valid path to parenthood.

I challenged these views where I could. I asked, “Do we not see difficulties in biological families too? Isn’t it our profession that first acknowledged the complexity of all family systems?” But many resisted, anchored in the belief that adoption inherently harmed children or disrupted the "natural" family order.

Yet change came, slowly and in surprising ways. Some of the same colleagues who had questioned adoption would later become fierce advocates for marriage equality. They championed the right of two women or two men to raise children—even when those children came to them through adoption, surrogacy, or foster care. It was as if one door had to open before another could be seen.

Still, contradictions remain. A colleague recently noted that a client’s struggles were likely “because he was adopted”—a stance she’s voiced many times. But her own son is raising three, multi-racial adopted daughters with his husband. This is something she openly celebrates. She didn’t seem to notice the disconnect in her thinking.

Another professional, who has long criticized adoption as being ‘problematic,’ wore LGBTQ+ Pride colors just days after the Supreme Court affirmed marriage equality. When I gently reminded her that more “non-biological families” will naturally follow, she paused—clearly unprepared to reconcile the disconnect between her views and her politics. 
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These stories reflect a broader cultural evolution. We are in a moment of expansion. As society redefines love, commitment, and identity, we must also expand our definition of family. 

This is more than a policy issue. It’s about acknowledging the hurt caused by outdated beliefs. It’s about repairing those wounds and offering validation to families who have long been made to feel “less than.”

We’ve come too far to let old prejudices shape our present understanding. Family is not about sameness of DNA. It’s about connection, care, and commitment. This Pride Month—and every month—we are invited to affirm that love makes a family. 


​Kay Gimmestad, LCSW-C is a business coach and clinician in New York City with 20 years of experience working in the profit and not for profit sectors of Human Resources, Health and Human Services. She has built a reputation for being highly skilled in facilitating behavior change while working with employees, both individually and in groups, on matters relating to performance management, substance abuse, crisis intervention, and stress/wellness. ​​​​​​

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Mental Health in A Turbulent Political Climate

4/28/2025

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Human resource professionals are first responders in the workplace. During times of national stress, they (along with coaches and clinicians) become essential sources of support for employees navigating a shifting world. 
 
As 2025 unfolds, we’re seeing escalating tensions- from culture wars to non-stop news updates and media cycles. Employees don’t leave these issues at the door; they bring their stress, fears and frustrations into the workplace. HR and management are being asked to stay neutral, empathetic and effective-all while managing an emotionally taxed workforce. 
 
The following are some things to consider when it comes to workplace mental health. 
 
How Political Stress Can Impact Work:
 
  • Increased irritability, absenteeism and decreased productivity
  • Tension or conflict between coworkers
  • Heightened sensitivity
  • More sick calls or requests for time off. 
  • Scrolling the news instead of working
 
Why This Time Is So Charged:
 
  • 24/7 news cycles and the constant buzz of social media.
  • Heightened fears around safety, identity and rights
  • Lingering burnout from Covid
  • Eroding of trust in government and corporate leadership 
 
What HR Can Do:
 
  • Normalize stress and mental health challenges in the company
  • Remind employees of EAP services and how to access them 
  • Review and promote employee benefits- medical, mental health, gym discounts etc.
  • Encourage stepping away from the computer: take walks instead of scrolling the news at lunch
  • Create intentional spaces for employees to be heard 
  • Set expectations for limiting media during business hours
 
Self-Care for HR and Management
 
  • Take small breaks-stretch; move and breathe
  • Build in daily check-ins. A former employer of mine held a 10-15-minute check-in every day, to gauge team morale, workflow, and to provide support 
  • Encourage connection; formally or informally. It helps to create a sense of belonging and importance. 
 
As someone who has assisted HR teams, managers and union leaders for years, I’ve seen the impact of a proactive and compassionate approach. Leaders who prioritize mental wellness help build resilient and healthier workplaces. This kind of leadership matters now more than ever. 

Kay Gimmestad, LCSW-C is a business coach and clinician in New York City with 20 years of experience working in the profit and not for profit sectors of Human Resources, Health and Human Services. She has built a reputation for being highly skilled in facilitating behavior change while working with employees, both individually and in groups, on matters relating to performance management, substance abuse, crisis intervention, and stress/wellness. ​​​​​​
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Upholding DEI Values

2/17/2025

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As a coach and a clinician, I’ve seen firsthand how workplace culture impacts mental health, productivity and one’s personal life. A workplace should be a space where people feel valued and safe to be their authentic selves. Central to this is a commitment to diversity, equity and inclusion (DEI).
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DEI is not only applicable to women, people of color and the LGBTQ community, but also can apply to men who are in a work environment dominated by employees that are of different backgrounds than them. 
 
Recent political directives aimed at curtailing DEI initiatives have made these principles and guidelines more challenging to sustain. 
 
Here are some ideas to maintain alignment with these values while navigating a complex political landscape. 
 
Reaffirm Core Values: Leadership and management should affirm the organization’s commitment to DEI regardless of external directives. 
 
Compassionate Workplace: I always encourage organizations to adopt practices to create a space where employees feel supported. It’s important to make sure a range of perspectives are put forward in the workplace. If an employee seems to be sitting back without speaking, make sure to ask them for their input. 
 
Mental Health as a DEI Issue: Mental health is often overlooked as a DEI issue. Marginalized employees who experience work environments full of microaggressions and inequities can develop burnout. It can be important to request cultural competence training from your HR department or EAP. 
 
Innovation versus Compliance: Use storytelling and team building to show diverse perspectives. Mentoring programs, community engagement and employee led resources can serve to promote DEI.
 
Additionally, a holiday potluck can be an opportunity to tell your cultural story via a presentation about your food and the meaning. 
 
Partner with Experts: Sometimes external consultants need to be brought on to address biases, tensions and employee needs. How can management support all employees while maintaining the mission of the company?
 
Moving Forward: Navigating political and social challenges can be daunting, but at this time in history, our values matter most. By staying committed to DEI principles, we create healthier workspaces and position ourselves as ethical leaders in our industry. 

Kay Gimmestad, LCSW-C is a business coach and clinician in New York City with 20 years of experience working in the profit and not for profit sectors of Human Resources, Health and Human Services. She has built a reputation for being highly skilled in facilitating behavior change while working with employees, both individually and in groups, on matters relating to performance management, substance abuse, crisis intervention, and stress/wellness. ​​​​​​
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Tips For Celebrating The Holidays Post The Election

11/11/2024

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I know things are difficult for many who are coping with the outcome of the election. However, many may also be thinking about the upcoming holidays. Given the fatigue people are experiencing from the recent election, how do we move forward? Whether you are working with clients or trying to enjoy time with loved ones, here are some ideas.
 
Some Lighthearted Ideas for The Holidays 
 
Election Detox: Take a break from the news cycle, texts and scrolling on your phone. Author Elizabeth Gilbert shared that she is off social media Wednesday until Friday to focus on other activities. What if instead of spending so much time engaged with media, you went outside in nature? You could also focus on including more lighthearted media that is uplifting. 
 
Gratitude Jar with a Twist: The idea of gratitude can feel played out and boring. How about making it more fun? Get your loved ones together and each write on a piece of paper about the “funniest Thanksgiving moment.” Put all the ideas in a jar and read through them. Have the group vote on the funniest and give a small prize to the winner. Reflection and laughter can help everyone move on and get in the right mindset for the holiday season.
 
Turn Frustration into Fuel for Fun: Not everyone’s candidate won this past Tuesday. Help clients and loved ones to channel these emotions into creativity and engagement. Think of 1-2 things you can do to help during the holidays. Find light-hearted memes about holiday blunders. My favorite is a family friend who was hosting her daughter’s fiancé for the first time. She went all out to have a great meal and side dishes. The only problem was, she forgot to turn on the stove. For years, this family joked about that being the longest Thanksgiving ever. 
 
Practice Witty Conversations or Activities: Keep your cool if your candidate lost or if you think you may have a challenging holiday season. Create a fun game around political trivia or “best pie contest.” Use these activities to break the tension, as it can be difficult to be around family members with different political views. 
 
Finding Your Passion: The election is over. Now what? Consider throwing a low-cost fundraiser with political or holiday humor. How about an activism board? Social media is one tool that you can use to build community and support causes that are important to you. While the results of the election are out of your control, you can think about other forms of activism that you can engage with. 
 
Remember, November is a time of thanks and gratitude. I have outlined ways to make it fun for people in your life. You can work to channel the recent stress into a season involving humor, growth and reflection. 
 
Kay Gimmestad, LCSW-C is a business coach and clinician in New York City with 20 years of experience working in the profit and not for profit sectors of Human Resources, Health and Human Services. She has built a reputation for being highly skilled in facilitating behavior change while working with employees, both individually and in groups, on matters relating to performance management, substance abuse, crisis intervention, and stress/wellness. ​​​​​​
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Transitioning from Summer to Fall: Navigating Workplace Changes

9/9/2024

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As the days get shorter and the air is cooler, the transition from summer to fall brings changes to the workplace. The relaxed days of summer are no more, and managers want employees to step up as new projects begin. The focus is now deadlines, 4th quarter goals and thinking ahead to the new year. 
 
Here are some fun and practical tips to ease the transition:
 
Seasonal Upgrade to Productivity: Start your mornings with a new routine; music, walking or audiobook. Change your summer iced tea for a pumpkin latte or apple cider.
 
Create your Fall Bucket List: Why wait until your retirement years for a bucket list? Make goal-setting fun such as completing a creative goal by Halloween, three networking meetings by Thanksgiving and learn a new skill by the first snowfall. Share your accomplishments at your next holiday meal. 
 
Stress Less and Laugh More: Inject some humor at work. Try to see the funny side of things. Listen to your favorite comedian while commuting to work or on your lunch break. Spend less time online and plan a quick fun activity.
 
Rekindle Your Passion for Work: Find fun and creative ways to reconnect with what you love about your job. This can be a challenge if you are tired of your job. It can be helpful to try to make the best of your current job until you get a better opportunity. Is there something that you have wanted to do such as work on a new project, create digital programs, make the company website more interesting, or write in the company newsletter? Approach your manager with ideas and communicate that new projects will not interfere with your core responsibilities. 
 
To Stay Or To Go In 2024: No….we are not talking about the November election, but what stays or goes in terms of clearing your office, home and electronic clutter. Start small with simple steps and specific areas of your space versus doing too much at one time. Coordinate with friends or play music while you do this. Have a party afterwards. 
 
As we embrace the change of seasons with a fresh perspective, you can utilize this transitional time as an opportunity to reconnect with your job in creative and energizing ways. 
 
Kay Gimmestad, LCSW-C is a business coach and clinician in New York City with 20 years of experience working in the profit and not for profit sectors of Human Resources, Health and Human Services. She has built a reputation for being highly skilled in facilitating behavior change while working with employees, both individually and in groups, on matters relating to performance management, substance abuse, crisis intervention, and stress/wellness. ​​​​​​
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Seasonal Affective Disorder in the Summer

7/15/2024

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For several years, a friend has told me that she notices significant mood changes in the summer.
 
Summertime SAD is a growing problem that people are reporting to their healthcare providers. We associate SAD with the winter, but it has become a counterpoint to the summer for some. SAD is triggered by higher temperatures, longer days and extreme humidity. Some may have lower melatonin levels according to research. Melatonin is a hormone that impacts the sleep-wake cycle. 
 
Summer’s high temperatures and humidity can induce physiological changes in the body such as increased heart rate, dehydration, and electrolyte imbalance. These factors may contribute to fatigue, irritability and mood swings. Additionally, heightened pollen levels can exacerbate allergies and asthma, which contributes to exhaustion and mood changes. 
 
Seasonal changes disrupt the routine of certain occupations, for instance school employees who have less structure in the summer months. Even minor schedule changes can impact mental health. For office workers, staff vacations and requests for time off can add more to the workload. Families experience change emotionally and financially when childcare must be arranged as kids are off from school. 
 
High summer temperatures disrupt sleep patterns. For instance, extended daylight can throw off sleeping schedules leading to heightened stress levels, irritability and mood fluctuation. Moreover, sleep issues contribute to fatigue, impaired cognitive function and weakened immune response. 
 
Other triggers include physical reactions to heat, sensory sensitivities to light, color, and noise. Additional triggers could include longer daylight patterns, seasonal allergies, chemical changes in the brain and disruptions to the circadian rhythm.  
 
Engaging in heat-safe activities indoors and drinking plenty of water while reducing alcohol and caffeine intake will positively impact health. 
 
Despite these challenges, summer can bring opportunities for rest, rejuvenation and promote overall well-being. Try to prioritize self-care to make the most of the summer season. 

Kay Gimmestad, LCSW-C is a business coach and clinician in New York City with 20 years of experience working in the profit and not for profit sectors of Human Resources, Health and Human Services. She has built a reputation for being highly skilled in facilitating behavior change while working with employees, both individually and in groups, on matters relating to performance management, substance abuse, crisis intervention, and stress/wellness. 
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From Alcoholism to Depression and Back: Counseling Interventions for a Path to Recovery

5/20/2024

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We live in a world that is much more open when it comes to addiction struggles, however for many the battle is kept silent. John is a 52-year-old Caucasian man whose life has been wrapped in an endless cycle of despair. His story is one that many people, especially those in the counseling field, see all too often. We have worked together for two months. 
 
For years, John used alcohol to numb his pain. Eventually instead of a numbing device, the cycle became a prison that he could not get out of. His issues came to a head when he was asked by his manager to transport some company materials to another location, and crashed the company vehicle into a wall. He was tested and showed high levels of alcohol in his system. 
 
After working together for a period of time, John was finally ready to go to residential treatment. Previously, he had declined this level of help. He notified his wife and kids, and they are supportive of his interest in treatment. His boss and company value John and wondered at times if "there was something wrong." They didn't say anything as John always showed up to work in a jovial mood and worked hard. John identifies as “one of those happy alcoholics” in our work together. 
 
John went to residential treatment and struggled to engage fully and often joked that rehab felt "like a prison." This was upsetting to other group members who had been in the correctional system and told John, “Prison is no joke. You have no idea." The counselor and the group confronted John on the concept of a "prison" and if John's long-standing problems had a "prison like" feeling for him. He thought about it but had trouble seeing himself as someone with a severe substance abuse issue. 
 
A skilled clinician knows that alcoholism and drug addiction is the "surface problem" and underneath is a trove of unresolved grief, trauma and unspoken emotions. It is also important to grab onto the feeling of "prison" and if being in rehab where one can leave whenever they want qualifies or if the true "prison" is the cycle of John's years as a depressed alcoholic. 
 
Recovery and healing are not linear and can go in different directions. Having a strong connection to a therapist or coach can help John and others with similar problems learn to connect without substances. 
 
In the next blog, I will review a range of counseling and clinical techniques to help our clients and loved ones with substance abuse or mental health
issues. 
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Kay Gimmestad, LCSW-C is a business coach and clinician in New York City with 20 years of experience working in the profit and not for profit sectors of Human Resources, Health and Human Services. She has built a reputation for being highly skilled in facilitating behavior change while working with employees, both individually and in groups, on matters relating to performance management, substance abuse, crisis intervention, and stress/wellness. ​​​​​
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The Psychology of Springtime: The Impact of Seasonal Changes on Mental Health

4/8/2024

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Spring is renewal and it can also bring about changes in mental health. Looking at the psychological aspects of Springtime can bring an understanding of how seasonal changes impact mood, behavior, and overall well-being. 
 
Let’s take a closer look.
 
Mood during Seasonal Changes: 
 
Spring brings about increased daylight, warmer weather and outdoor activities which stimulate serotonin, and can lead to a “feel good” experience. Spring can also trigger anxiety and changes in mood if you have any health issues associated with warmer weather or anniversary reactions to a previous difficult event.  
 
Biological Rhythms: 
 
Changes in the season can impact our biology, mood, body rhythms, sleep and hormone regulation. As days are longer and sunlight increases, our bodies adjust leading to improved mood and energy levels. 
 
Psychology of Spring:
 
Spring is rich in symbolism with themes of renewal, growth, and transformation. These themes are powerful for personal development and resilience. Exploring the psychology of springtime activities such as preparing the home and yard for the warmer months, spring cleaning, gardening, and cultural or religious celebrations can be helpful. 
 
Coping with Challenges of Spring: 
 
Spring can be exciting and energizing, however it poses challenges for those with more significant mental health challenges such as bipolar disorder, anxiety disorders or depression. In addition, increased outdoor activity and more social events can be harder for some folks. It is important to make sure your self-care plan is in place. Self-care could include, exercise, yoga, meditation, creative projects, and the arts. 
 
Community and Connection:  
 
There is a reason for the term, “Spring Fling.” The increase in gatherings and parties can be anxiety provoking for some. Finding a balance between socializing and time alone can be tricky. Consider smaller gatherings, if you are someone who feels overwhelmed around a larger crowd.
 
By exploring the topic of the psychology of Spring and its impact, therapists and coaches can provide valuable insights to navigate seasonal changes. By acknowledging both the positive aspects and challenges of Spring, practitioners can empower their clients to handle the joys and challenges throughout the season. 

Kay Gimmestad, LCSW-C is a business coach and clinician in New York City with 20 years of experience working in the profit and not for profit sectors of Human Resources, Health and Human Services. She has built a reputation for being highly skilled in facilitating behavior change while working with employees, both individually and in groups, on matters relating to performance management, substance abuse, crisis intervention, and stress/wellness. 
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VALENTINE’S DAY FOR SINGLES

2/12/2024

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When you’re single on Valentine’s Day focusing on self-love, self-care, and friendship, can be a wonderful way to celebrate the holiday. 
 
Spending the day alone can be stressful and may cause social anxiety or depression.
 
How about creating a new tradition for this day if you are single or living away from loved ones? 
 
The following are some fun ways to celebrate the holiday. 
 
Galentine’s Day Celebration: This typically takes place on February 13th. Invite friends to have a potluck, try different types of food and watch a fun movie. 
 
Self-Care Day: Treat yourself to a day of pampering. Take a long bath with essential oils and play soothing music. If budget allows, go to a local spa.
 
Gratitude: Write a list of the people and things in your life that you’re grateful for. You could also do the activity with someone else and share with each other.
 
Give Back to Community: Consider visiting someone who is homebound or a friend that you haven’t seen in a while. Volunteering at a community organization or doing some outdoor work with others in your town can be a great way to spend the day. 
 
Treat Yourself: Buy yourself chocolate, flowers, or some other special treat. Consider doing this for someone else such as a friend or someone who cannot get out.
 
Solo Adventure: Plan a day trip for yourself. You might decide to go to the movies, a museum or be in nature. A weekend trip alone or going to visit someone can be recharging. 
 
Celebrate Yourself & Life: Think about all your accomplishments and the blessings that you have. 
 
Remember, Valentine’s Day can be a celebration of love in all its forms, including self-love and platonic love. Embrace the opportunity to honor and appreciate yourself and those around you.

 
Kay Gimmestad, LCSW-C is a business coach and clinician in New York City with 20 years of experience working in the profit and not for profit sectors of Human Resources, Health and Human Services. She has built a reputation for being highly skilled in facilitating behavior change while working with employees, both individually and in groups, on matters relating to performance management, substance abuse, crisis intervention, and stress/wellness. ​​​
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A PRODUCTIVE vs A “PERFECT” HOLIDAY SEASON

1/11/2024

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 It’s the holiday season again! Time off work, shopping, parties and family get togethers. What’s not to like? A lot for some people. 
 
The ongoing crises in the world have made for a challenging year and yet, we all remain hopeful for 2024. The war in Ukraine, Hamas, mass shootings, climate change and another presidential election have many of us worried. 
 
The holidays can make some individuals sick or stressed. My coworker told me, “I feel like I could have a heart attack with all the prep I do for my elderly mother and I.” People of other faiths or those that don’t celebrate may find all the decorations and non-stop music overwhelming. 
 
Many find their adult years difficult if they had wonderful holidays as a child. For others, unhappy holidays growing up or stressful family dynamics can bring back painful memories. Estrangement from family members and the passing of relatives can leave a gaping hole. 
 
Instead of trying for a “Hallmark Christmas,” how about thinking of ways to plan for a productive season and New Year. Let’s think about the making it the best holiday season we can. 
 
Some Tips:
 
We don’t have to conform to one image of Christmas. This may mean dropping commitments that no longer serve you or coming up with new traditions.
 
Manage expectations and set priorities to avoid overwhelm. 
 
Set up parameters for your gatherings: Do you want to leave the latest political saga at the door? Do you want to create a fun atmosphere that is upbeat saving politics and world events for another time? 
 
Loss of Control: Try to remind yourself to do your best with what you can control. Perceived loss of control can be harder than actual loss of control. 
 
Diet and Alcohol: Beware of diet and eating during the holidays. Some people eat a light meal before they go to a holiday party, or they limit their alcohol intake to control stress and irritability.
 
Plan out the final weeks of 2023: Have a spouse, friend, children or relatives help you by delegating tasks. Have everyone bring a dish and one gift to exchange to avoid one person doing all the cooking or gift shopping. 
Plan a low stress activity at the end of the holidays. This can be a reward to everyone for taking part in making the holidays more doable.
 
Happy Holidays and Have a Safe New Year!
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    Author Kay Gimmestad is a Business Coach and Clinician with 20 years of experience working in the profit and not for profit sectors of Human Resources, Health and Human Services. In this blog, she shares case studies and other observations from her decades in the field. 

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